Mom Jeans = Boyfriend Jeans Minus One

For the past two months, I've woken up every Saturday with the same mission: a. eat a bagel with lox, b. find the perfect pair of mom jeans. By perfect, I mean Sisterhood of Traveling Pants made-for-my-body jean except I have no intention of sharing them with anyone. By mom jeans, I mean high-waisted, lightly faded straight leg jeans. I feel like I've written a post on this before, maybe not though, but I do think about these yet-to-be-in-my-possession jeans all. the. time. Since I'm not willing to pay more than $100 for them, I've had a hard time finding them, especially because I'm imagining a pair of Acne ones in my head. I've been to multiple Beacon's Closet locations multiple times (there are only a few, but each is a journey); Housing Works near my work and my apartment, and any other thrift stores/Salvation Army hotspots I can find. I've concluded that as with most pieces of ordinary apparel, you can search far and wide, but you'll always find it at the Gap.

Though the Gap isn't avant garde enough to be selling mom jeans circa now, they do sell a mean boyfriend jean inappropriately named The Sexy Boyfriend. This bothers me for a few reasons. First, the word sexy makes me feel uncomfortable. Second, it's a reminder to single women everywhere that since we don't have boyfriends, we have to buy our own men's jeans--we can't literally 'borrow from the boys.' Wutevs. To be honest, I hadn't read into it that much until I wrote that sentence a second ago. Anyway, I went to the Gap today because I had a vision in my cubicle around 2 PM that I could just buy a pair of boyfriend jeans one size smaller than my usual pair and they'd be the mom jeans of my dreams. Four hours later, I stood in a dressing room with my hands on my hips in pair of snugly mom-ish jeans. Inspired by own clairvoyance and the crooning (?) voice of Flo Rida in my headphones, I went to the cash register and bought them.

Huzzah. Oh yeah. Mission accomplished.

I'd stay around and put together an outfit college and/or proofread this post, but I decided two days ago that Anthony Bourdain is my new role model in the sense that I want to be him, and the first step to doing so is by streaming Parts Unknown on Netflix, so that's where I'm off to.

Before you go, take a moment to appreciate the above celebrity couples that didn't last, and the boyfriend/girlfriend jeans trend that did. Images via Irispancy.