Solving the Coat Conundrum: Attempt One

I'm in a coat conundrum. As I elaborated on earlier this week, I'm addicted to parkas, and my puffy puffy puffy parka named Malakai has become a literal security blanket for me since I bought it last winter. Malakai is too overzealous for New York City fall temperatures, and its younger cousin, an unnamed cotton fur-lined parka, is temporarily out of the tri-state area as I left it at my beach house, where it is deeming itself completely useless in a moth-ball infested closet.

The absence of Malakai's cousin isn't why I'm in a coat conundrum though. I mistakingly and very consciously purchased three versions of the same parka-style coat, and now I'm at a complete loss when it comes time to wear something remotely professional. I'm no longer a college student, I am a woman, hear me roar, and I have important and mature places to be. Jk, I don't, but I could still use a f-f-fancy structured coat.

My first option is a wool trench coat à la Kate Middleton. When a laday wears a trench coat, she immediately looks like she has places to be, people to see, royals to marry. The belt is the key element to the trench coat's wearability: one can properly hoop it through the loops (huh?) to look polished, or casually knot it around the waist to advertise her "I'm so busy, I didn't even have time to fasten my trench" attitude towards life.

Like a true Asian tourist, my first choice for a wool trench coat would be from Burberry. Not much to say on it, other than it's awesome and I need it. I just got paid today (direct deposit, ince ince) and I most defintely need a supplementary income to finance a Burberry wool trench. J.Crew offers two similar wool trenches at more than half the price of Burberry's. The first one, the Icon trench, is a little long even though I consider myself to be on the tall side of things. I'm partial to the second one, which is long enough to still cover my butt (I hate a clothed yet exposed bottom shelf in the winter), but still has trench-like qualities. The downside of this coat is that it comes in colors like 'frosted citrus' and 'deep artichoke,' rather than a simple black. It does come in a camel color, but I've already committed to seeing 2013 out in black, white, and grey, not beige. Jenna Lyons, give me something to work with, g.

The Royals, circa 1989

I was sitting at work yesterday, and either inspired by the ubiquitous Tommy Hilfiger ad or by a fellow commuter on the subway, I had a vision... of plaid trouser shorts.

Image via Style.com

And then I had a thought. (Off tangent, but starting a sentence with "and then I had a thought" has me pretending that I'm Carrie Bradshaw, sitting in my underwear in my rent controlled apartment, comparing men to handbags. Back on tangent.) What did plaid trouser shorts remind me of? I couldn't put my finger on it, but as many a pedophile has done before me, I typed "British school boys" into Google images, and came across the following photo:

Image via Google

Which subsequently reminded me of a picture I had seen in People magazine circa the royal wedding hysteria. Namely, this one:

Image via Google

And upon looking at this picture, I'm convinced that there is no better September outfit than one that vaguely resembles the school uniform of a British royal.

Band of Outsiders Wool Bermuda Shorts, Uniqlo V-Neck Sweater, L.L. Bean Cotton Socks, Marni Patent Leather Loafers, Barbour Bedale Jacket, J. Crew Colorblock Wool Cap