Thursday, December 26, 2013

"If you're a nice person and you work hard, you get to go shopping at Barneys. It's the decadent reward." Said SJP

I got out of work a little earlier than usual today, given that it's the day after Christmas (doesn't anyone celebrate Boxing Day around here?), so I did what I always do when I get out of work a little early. I got on the M4, which shares a spot with the M3 as my second favorite bus route in the city (I swear I'm not on the #spectrum, I just like to stay attune to the workings of the MTA), and I went to Barney's. I'm also attune to how pretentious the second half of that sentence might sound, and even though I got paid on Christmas day (a Christmas miracle! JK, I was totally expecting it), I can't quite afford anything at Barney's, except if I go to the sale section on the very top floor.

Lucky for me, there was a massive 60% off sale happening on the very top floor, and I came dangerously close to buying some very well-discounted shoes that I didn't need. While I was trying to imagine a pair of pony hair booties in my closet, a girl walked past me who looked like she was filming My Super Sweet Sixteen, minus the camera crew. She had long, blonde straight hair and her face was heavy on the bronzer and eyeliner, and she was wearing a lot of glitter embellished articles of tight white clothing. She had a flamboyant male companion with her, who kind of looked like McLovin from Superbad, and who was also wearing glittery clothes. Worth noting that he had a pair of overalls draped around his shoulder like he was in the last half hour of a Project Runway challenge. Anyways, the girl saw a 60% off sweater that she liked, and she told McLovin to go retrieve from the rack. McLovin suggested she try it on (valid point, it had a weird cut), but she said that would be stupid and she would just buy it and decide if she liked it later (which would be even stupider because 60% discount implies final sale).

The girl's combined snobbiness and bad sense of style made me feel bad for her, because she would never be excited to walk through Barney's and wonder which floors all the celebritities were on (that typo is so intended), or calculate how large her entry-level paycheck would have to be so that she could buy a pair of full-price pony hair booties and still maintain a social life and a three meals-a-day kind of lifestyle.

Long story short, she made me no longer want the pony hair booties.

They're Rag + Bone. 

I still want them. 

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